2014 YEAR-IN-PREVIEW | The East Bay Citizen’s crystal ball found many odd, yet plausible headlines awaiting us in 2014. Here are a few gleaned from the near future:

Rep. Eric Swalwell, touting new technologies, uses his World of Warcraft avatar to address the Hayward City Council.

Alameda County Supervisor Nate Miley Appoints Chris Miley To Be His Son

 With Only His Power Boat, Phil Tagami Vows To Enter 2017 America’s Cup; Base Team At Alameda Point

 Citing Stress Of Following Sexual Harassment Rules, Scott Haggerty Quits The Democratic Party, Again

 Noel Gallo Plants New Grass In Front Yard Just So He Can Yell At Kids To Get Off It

Fremont Mayor Bill Harrison Named New Subway Spokesman

 Lew Wolff buys the LA Galaxy; moves them to Oakland.

Ellen Corbett Finishes Closes Second In June Primary Despite Wearing The Same Blue Dress

 Congressional Race Turned Upside Down With Disclosure Mike Honda Drives A Hyundai.

 Uber Progressive Supervisor Richard Valle declares July 4 ‘Raul Castro Day In Alameda County’

Oakland Councilwoman McElhaney Censured For Plagiarizing Speeches Of Televangelist Creflo Dollar

Ro Khanna Fritters Away His Campaign Cash Buying Bobbleheads On Ebay

 Rep. Eric Swalwell and all Congressmembers Receive A Trophy Just For Showing Up

 Blacks in Oakland Angry After Mayor’s Happy Quan-za cards arrive in Late February.