Oakland Has Another Dog in the Race

Einstein: by all accounts, the Oakland 
mayoral race is destined to be vicious.

OAKLAND | MAYOR | Twenty humans believe they have a shot at unseating Oakland Mayor Jean Quan. Add one canine named Einstein.

The political pooch added his name last week to the still growing mayoral field for November ranked choice voting race. Candidates have until Aug. 9 to finalize their candidacy.

“I like to run. A lot! I mean A LOT! So make no mistake, I can make it all the way to the finish line, and I invite you to join me!” said the Shepherd Mix-American.

In addition to possibly being the only candidate with the ability to lick its own genitals, Einstein’s platform is as ambitious as any of the other candidates in the race that includes Councilmembers Rebecca Kaplan, Libby Schaaf; Port Commissioner Bryan Parker; Attorney Dan Siegel; university professor Joe Tuman and City Auditor Courtney Ruby, among others.

Based upon his political stances, Einstein is no Blue Dog Democrat. If elected, he plans to institute reforms at the Oakland Animal Shelter, push for the prosecution of those behind the killing of Oakland resident Alan Blueford, oppose the Domain Awareness Center and cut the fat at City Hall, says his website. “Another Oakland is possible!” barked Einstein.

There is precedent for a dog running and even winning an election. Three decades ago, the tiny Alameda County hamlet of Sunol elected Bosco. He served nearly 90 years in office (dog years) before his passing.

Categories: Alan Blueford, Blue Dog Democrats, Bosco, Bryan Parker, Domain Awareness Center, Einstein, Joe Tuman, Kaplan, Libby Schaaf, Oakland, Oakland Animal Services, oakmayor, Sunol

8 replies

  1. Actually, i would take this candidate seriously. We cannot really question his ethics, and I am sure that he can run a clean campaign


  2. “being the only candidate with the ability to lick its own genitals”

    Maybe this is a plus?


  3. At least Einstein has balls…


  4. By MW:

    If a four legged animal by the name of Einstein wants to get seriously involved in Bay area politics, I myself will not attempt to stop him, and furthermore it is hard to imagine that he could be worse as a public official than such two legged creatures as Nadia Lockyer, Mary Hayashi, and Jean Quan.

    However for the sake of his own happiness and well being, he should think long and hard whether he really wants to immerse himself fulltime in an environment, in other words the cesspool of Bay area politics, in which he would regularly be forced to deal with two legged creatures such as and similar to Nadia and Bill Lockyer, Mary Hayashi, Willie Brown, and Deborah Edgerly, and so forth.


  5. “possibly being the only candidate with the ability to lick its own genitals”

    I think this needs a real investigative reporter. There's been some licking going on in city hall for a very long time. It's just one reason why nothing really gets done.


  6. “possibly being the only candidate with the ability to lick its own genitals”

    Referring to the candidates as “it” may be correct but it is also very rude.


  7. Einsten my not want to get involved in the corrupt politicss here


  8. By MW:

    According to this article, Einstein is the only candidate with the ability to lick its own genitals. However what if Nadia Lockyer should also enter the race!!

    While I myself did not view any of the porno films she was in, however supposedly in those films she displayed all sorts of agility dexterity, and “talents,” and in fact supposedly she really went at it like a real animal.

    Furthermore, according to reports Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky in their mutual interactions showed all sorts of “talents,” so let's also add Nadia, Billy Boy, and Monica to the Oakland mayor's race, and change our motto from “Let the best man win” to “Let the biggest and most extreme clown win.”


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